Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize