dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
