if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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