If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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