I'd wear matching sweaters with you
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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