i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
