No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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