Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
