Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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