I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
