dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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