it hurts more in the daytime
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
