just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
