Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
