D3 body, D1 cock
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
