He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
