Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
