I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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