3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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