so that wasnt chicken after all
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you never un-have a 4some
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
