I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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