Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize