Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
