ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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