Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she smelled like a LAN party
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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