...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
