At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
