I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
