at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
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