they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
why does every cop we meet know your name?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
