Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
