So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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