on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize