It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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