we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
