found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
