How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
