I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
