she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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