can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
