On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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