I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize