i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
