Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
