bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
