i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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