i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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