ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
