Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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