Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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