You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Girls should come with a carfax report
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
