fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
