omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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