I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
