I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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