So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize