I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
