Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
