Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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